Gristle's Revenge is officially a reality. I did have a worrisome day when the day they were supposed to arrive didn't happen. It was definitely stressful. I was working and had arranged for a relative to be on hand all day. When they didn't materialise my stress ratchetted up several levels. Only the good comms from my printers kept my heart from escaping out my chest and flopping onto the floor like a landed trout.

Reassured, I tracked the books as they left the printers later the same day, landing at the Medway depot ready for delivery yesterday. Two hugely heavy boxes arrived, fortunately I didn't need to move them I had strong arms to assist me.  

Opening the boxes I held my breath. They were stunning, the top four were individually wrapped, the remainder sealed in groups of four. I've only opened one group of four not wanting to mess with perfection, so I'm hoping the insides are printed round the correct way! Of the ones I opened I couldn't resist stroking the smooth satin covers and sniffing the fresh scent of print.

I must admit a strong inclination to  sleep with the copies, but I guessed my family might find that a wee bit weird and a call to the mental health crisis team might follow. As I can't have anything obstructing the launch now I decided to act normally - for a while - and behave. It took all my resolve to climb the stairs to bed and leave my precious bundles alone.

Now half the order is packed up in the lounge ready to take to the launch on Saturday, this Saturday just in case I haven't mentioned it. From 12 - 4pm at Olby's. I notice they have advertised the event on their website, its on Kent Online too and the wonderful Kathy Bailies is putting it on the on-line Ilse of Thanet News. https://theisleofthanetnews.com

I haven't noticed whether the papers have included it, but Waterstones are offering Gristle's Revenge on their site despite not having any copies.
https://www.waterstones.com/book/gristles-revenge///9780993317460

Also Brown's Books for Students have an entry.
http://www.brownsbfs.co.uk/Product/Gristles-Revenge/9780993317460

And this site really confused me when it produced this photo. I can only assume the man in the photo is Gristle.
https://www.summitpost.org/gristle-s-revenge/408434

My third novel launch looms large. I'm expecting to take delivery of Gristle's Revenge, the follow-up story to Witch on the Warpath, tomorrow just in time for the launch this Saturday  (my printers have confirmed delivery date). 12 midday at Olby's Soul Café.

I'm both excited and terrified in equal measure. You'd think after two previous launches I'd be an old hand at this lark, but no. Every time, I chew my nails till they resemble poorly formed doilies, my head aches and I can't sleep for at least a week before. I keep asking myself why I put myself through this and I can't come up with a sensible, meaningful answer. I mean the lack of money I haven't made this year saw the accountant I had to take on ask me, "Is this just a very expensive hobby?" and at times I think it might be.

After this launch, I'm concentrating on putting both earlier novels into paperback form on Amazon, that's because some underhand criminals are advertising my work for sale without owning any. If I sell mine on their in paperback, they're history. I believe they rely on folk selling only E-Reader versions so they can purchase and download a copy then print and sell the hard copy themselves. Its a loophole in the sales by Amazon. Once I have my own original copies for sale, the crims won't be able to sell on-line with Amazon so easily.

Following that I'm aiming to divide my novel Aquasapien into two shorter books. They will become book 1 and 2 and I'll be finishing what will be book 3.  Once the book is divided I'll concentrate on finishing "What If?" my next full-length novel. Then I'll finish Aquasapien Prodigy. From there? I'm going to re-visit three other novels sitting in my laptop, but I'm guessing that will be towards the end of 2019.

After a devastating experience over the summer which has left me demoralised, exhausted and heart broken in equal measure I have learnt another lesson from the things life throws at us. I grew up with a mother who spoke for  in idioms for most of her life. Along with, "Don't cross your bridges before you get to them" and "Too many cooks..." Another of her favourites was, "Don't count your chickens..." I listened, I nodded and soon without realising found they'd become part of my own phrases and dialogue, though I do try to limit them. Especially when I found the chicken phrase has been around since 1570!

(According to the Wiktionary; First attested in English in Thomas Howell's 1570 New Sonnets and Pretty Pamphlets in the couplet "Counte not thy Chickens that vnhatched be, / Waye wordes as winde, till thou finde certaintee".)

Why am I speaking about this? Because Gristle's Revenge is almost here and fate keeps dropping that chicken idiom into my head every moment. Ignoring fate for 30mins - at my peril - I decided to design and produce a few simple posters for my Book Launch which is on;

1st December 12 - 4pm at Olby's Soul Café Margate
Shameless  plug and not embarrassed at all, I'm past that stage.

I'd splashed out, designed and ordered several from my Vistaprint account and they arrived early. I  fawned over them. They were so professional, in my website colours too. Very posh I thought. Today I decided I'd have a stab at making my own smaller posters, trying to match the colours and font etc so I pulled up the original Vistaprint artwork and set to it.
I was very happy with the finished product and decided I'd take them all out this afternoon along with the posh Vistaprint ones, hoping several establishments might considering taking one of them.

PLEASE CONTACT ME IF YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO DISPLAY A POSTER. (Second plug, I have no dignity left either)

I printed off the first poster and stared at it. Then I stared at it some more. Then the penny dropped (Another idiom, The OED's earliest citation of a use of the phrase with the 'now I understand' meaning, is from The Daily Mirror August 1939: And then the penny dropped, and I saw his meaning!)

Horror of horrors (synonym) my beautiful new posters had the wrong date on them!!!! I'd inadvertently put the launch date of the Inspirations Writers Group Anthology Launch Yellow;

Saturday 24th November at Old Kent Market Margate 10.30 to 2pm

Has this woman no shame you ask? Apparently not anymore and its not an idiom - I checked. Thank goodness I watched Blue Peter all those years ago. Armed with my trusty laptop, scissors, glue and the printer I worked on matching the design, colour etc and cleverly printed off a new date to sneakily cover the incorrect one. Now I'm waiting for the glue to dry so I can roll them up.

Regards the novel itself? Final proof agreed after some last minute touches to the cover and they should be printing my first 100 copies next week. Fingers Crossed!

( Idiom - There are two main theories regarding the origins of finger-crossing for luck. The first dates to a pre-Christianity Pagan belief in Western Europe in the powerful symbolism of a cross. The intersection was thought to mark a concentration of good spirits and served to anchor a wish until it could come true. mentalfloss.com)

Here I sit waiting for my wish to come true. :)